Okay, how do you make a funny quote even funnier? By taking them out of context. The idea of doing this was after watching Epic Reads youtube video with really hilarious quotes taken out of context (go check them out if you haven’t!).
Here are my picks:
“None of Sabriel’s friends had reached puberty before her, so in fear and desperation she had entered Death.”
– Sabriel by Garth Nix
“‘Can I have one?’ ‘Of the scones or the prisoners?'”
– The Alloy Of Law by Brandon Sanderson
“‘Wait. Are you wearing cologne? In prison?'”
– Words Of Radiance by Brandon Sanderson
“The cafe windows wrapped all the way around the observation floor, which gave us a beautiful panoramic view of the skeleton army that had come to kill us.”
– The Titan’s Curse by Rick Riordan
“‘Your cats! Give us all your gods-damned cats!'”
– Red Seas Under Red Skies by Scott Lynch
“‘And Thor gets in behind Frey and – WHAM! BOOM! That’s got to hurt. And Loki SCORES! This boy’s on FIRE!'”
– Runelight by Joanne Harris
“And at that moment the alligators burst into the room.”
– The Invisible Library by Genevieve Cogman
“‘It’s nice to see that cannibalism has been so logically ruled out as an option'”
– Elantris by Brandon Sanderson
“‘So does somebody want to speculate on how our team’s spy ended up becoming a pseudo-religious vigilante freedom fighter?'”
– The Hero Of Ages by Brandon Sanderson
“I’m here to tell you, that comment about weasel cookies probably saved the known universe.”
– The Throne Of Fire by Rick Riordan
“‘Fuck you’ said the raven.”
– American Gods by Neil Gaiman
“The robots, on the other hand, acted like a bunch of youthful dreams and got thoroughly crushed.”
– Calamity by Brandon Sanderson
“Statistics indicate that 15 percent of all men in hats are concealing horns.”
– The Rook by Daniel O’Malley
“‘Do you like cat?’ she said.
‘Yes,’ said Richard. ‘I quite like cats.’
Anaesthesia looked relieved. ‘Thigh?’ she asked, ‘or breast?'”
– Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman
” Every time you breathe, a grown-up dies.”
– Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie
“Death and Famine and War and Pollution continued biking towards Tadfield. And Grievous Bodily Harm, Cruelty To Animals, Things Not Working Properly Even After You’ve Given Them A Good Thumping but secretly No Alcohol Lager, and Really Cool People travelled with them.”
– Good Omens by Neil Gaiman
A BOOK WITHOUT END 